And the move is on...

Last year, my husband (hereafter referred to as "J") lost his job of 11 years. We weren't expecting that at all and, as the main breadwinner, it hit us pretty hard. We were already in a world of hurt with no budget, no savings, no plans. I was already unemployed, having lost my job months prior and was in the midst of a deep depression. That year was about the worst it had ever gotten. So many bad things happened that we were in no position to deal with.

Many mistakes got us to that point and we continued to make mistakes. Some things we did right, but not quite right enough to make a huge difference. This year has been a slightly better so far but it's going back downhill fast.

For numerous reasons, but particularly to start over with some support, we've decided to move out of the Ohio city we've lived in together since 1995 and that J grew up in. We're going to NC mainly because that's where J's parents live, but we also believe that there are better job opportunities there, particularly in J's field.

J's parents have offered to help us get on our feet and give us a roof over our heads while we're setting up. I'm so very thankful for that since we've done it wrong for so many years. Though we should be "old enough to know better," I'm very open to accepting advice and support from people who care about us and want to help us realize a more positive future. It's pretty embarrassing, but if I can't find some humility after taking part in wrecking our lives by asking and accepting help, I'm never going to change my attitude.

That being said, I had thought we were leaving mid-June, but after talking with J's parents last night, we decided to bump it up to the end of May. I'm kind of nervous. I've started packing a few things, but we still have a lot to do. At the same time I'm excited because I feel like I've been in limbo since we first decided to head down there over a month ago.

One crappy thing, though, is that we were expecting a pretty decent chunk of change from our tax returns and the stimulus package. That was supposed to cover our moving expenses, pay off the last of our rent and utilities here (which we are both behind in), and provide some seed money to live off of until we have jobs so we didn't have to mooch of my in-laws. We haven't seen a dime of it yet and there's no telling when we're actually going to get it. :(

I feel bad that my in-laws are going to end up paying for the move, even though they say they want to because it will get us started on the path to financial wellness sooner. I really love them and what they're doing for us, but at the same time I feel so guilty. I desperately want us to be financially independent and every time someone else gives us money, it kills me. I hate being a mooch.

So, the countdown begins. 9 more days to moving day. I'm scared and I need to go pack. Now.


Pushing30 said...

I totally understand how you feel about the job loss. This happened to me last year and it put me in a deep depression as well. But I picked myself up, brushed off the past and set out to do better. I can see from your goals, that you and your husband are on the right path as well. Change is scary but once you're on the other side it's a whole new world of opportunity. It's really great to hear that you have a support system with J's parents, that is exactly what we need sometimes. All the best to you on achieving your goals and a successful move!

Oh and thanks for adding me to your blog roll as well. I'm adding your site too :)


Lilith said...

Thanks a lot, pushing30!

Accepting help for the outside, particularly a relative, can be the hardest thing to do, but if it truly is difficult, there's still hope. It means that we don't want to be a burden and we can make the choice not to be.

That's where we're at. We know it's a great thing to have such support and we'll rely on it only to the extent that it gives us a running start to achieving real, long-lasting financial independence.